Thursday, September 10, 2009

A dangewous place

Aftew ouw long twip, and wif the wowk of setting up my tent and snoopewvising the boyz in unloading the few pieces of luggage I bwought along, I must confess the sight of Max's pool was iwwesistable!
I was in the watew in a flash. soon to be joined by Dextew, while the welentlessly hooge Mango and Lacie baked themselves in the sun

Honey made hewself comfowtable while sipping a dwinkie poolside and suwveying the scene like a queen



But we wewe all itching to see some of the fabled scenewy so aftew a day of lounging about
we all changed into ouw bwand new clothes and went off explowing the magnificent countwieside

I swathed myself in netting..I have a pawticoolaw feaw of bugses

but these magnificent cweetoowes don't scawe me at all..(I aways had a thing fow tall guys)


This bootiful cheetah weminded me of my sissie Fewgi and hew pawfect speckled fuw
(you may wemembew, I twied to get some of those spots in that ill-fated spa a little while ago)


at Sunset, we all posed fow a pictoowe and toasted ouw hosts and theiw bootiful countwy!
(natoowally, Lacie came back wif ginouwmous wed spots all ovew hew legses fwom bug bites, and Tannew , mistakenly thought he should dwess like a foweign legionaiw because we wewe in Afwica, heheheh)
Of couwse ouw host Max and family told us we all looked widicoolous, as they pwefew to go Ohh Natoowal

I pawsonally think ouw little gwoup looks vewy womantic and stylish, but then, I'm an uwban sowt of giwl


we said ouw good nights , and went to bed hoping fow a westful night
I was wooming wif Lacie and was woodely woke up by hew shwieks (in wetwospect , totally justified!)
the giantest monstew bug you have evew seen was in ouw woom

EEEEEEUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


( we found out latew, that they'we "affectionately "called Pawktown Pwawns)
again EEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!


"The males have very large jaws, and the females have big, scimitar-shaped ovipositors, so they're quite fierce-looking," said Caroline Crump, curator of the zoology museum at the University of the Witwatersrand here. "And if they're cornered, they may jump at you. They're just trying to get away, but people think they're attacking."

The prawn's tough hide makes it newspaper- and slipper-resistant. At up to three inches long, it has enough body mass to shake off most household insecticides -- the first shot just makes it more jumpy.



The New York Times


Worst of all, when threatened, it empties its bowels of a noxious black effluvium that disgusts predators and Parktonians alike.

In truth, Libanasidus vittatus is no prawn, nor is it confined to Parktown, a section of northern Johannesburg. It is a king cricket. But it does avoid poorer neighborhoods, which tend to be dry, preferring the wet, leafy gardens of elegant old mansions.






I may nevew eat pwawns again aftew this

EEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWW



Luckily Lacie's shwieks wewe heawd all ovew the compound, and hew pawsonal guawd and pwotectow, Toffee (Max's bwofew ) came wunning in a flash.



(eawliew, Max had sent this message to Lacie:
...I have the best dude for you and his name is TOFFEE! Let me tell you, this little guy is dynamite!!
*He kills any spider or creepy crawly in a flash.
*He is a ferocious 'Parktown prawn' killer(mmmm Large, very large crickets!)
* He will let no one else, but his own big ego, into your bed!
* He'll take on an elephant if you ask him to.
* He will listen to your stories and watch your every expression.
and the best of all
***HE ALREADY HAS THAT WARM, FUZZY FEELING FOR YOU!!!)





Well he pwoved himself by immediately chasing that howwible monstew away


of couwse Joey and Tannew just had to see what was up
Even though they awe used to vawious cwawlies, living in sunny Azwizona,
this was a bit out of of theiw league and they left it to Toffee






someone suggested we could make a meal of them, but I had totally lost my appetite



The views awe spectacoolaw..the fwiends we'we meeting wondewful and genewous, I'm awfully glad I came

but I think New Yawk City is a much safew place fow an Uwbanista like me

I just hope I make it back in one piece


( pleez go to Mango, Petey,Lacie,Joey and Tanner for more of our adventoowe)

Joey and Tanner http://joestains.blogspot.com/

Scruffy, Lacie, and Stanny http://holyterriers.blogspot.com/

Max http://theadventuresofmaxdog.blogspot.com/

Dennis http://dennisthevizsla.wordpress.com/


Petey http://peteysplayhouse.blogspot.com/

Mango http://mangosgreatadventures.blogspot.com/


smoochie kisses

30 comments:

LuLu and LoLLy! said...

Dear Asta: Hi! Guess what? It's us! Also, thank you for your truly outstanding commintz on our story about the PET-tishin and ALSO --- do you realize that you said "Get BEHIND?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Asta, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Two Paws Up! And also we are posting the whole story and we would like you to be an ambassador we will holler at you again about this trying to finish our story to launch this important crusade!!!!

Love, your PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy!

TwoSpecialWires said...

Oh Sweet Beautiful Sissie Asta. You look so elegant and stylish in your yards of netting, and under your beautifully draped bed. Regardless of the "au naturale" custom of South Africans, we think you are wise to swath yourself and sleep under the romantic tent. (It's a little harder to picture Lacie with you, but we're working on that image.) We are so glad that Toffee was there to protect you from that nasty prawn. And we are really glad we did not know about those icky crawlies before we had grilled shrimp for dinner the other night. It would definitely have spoiled our appetite.

You were so sweet to think of me when you saw the stunningly spotted cheetah. Even her brown head resembles mine. Now I must learn to duplicate her relaxed elegant pose. I'll go work on it right now, and think of you on your adventure. I'm glad to see you are enjoying the beautiful sights and vistas, in addition to the other excitement of the adventure.

Tell Max and his family hello. Relax and enjoy, Sweet Sissie. Take lots of pictures. We'll want to see them. (And though of a completely different subject, we'll have some to share with you shortly after you return!)

Love,
Your SissieFergi (and BruvverJake - he's working on the relaxed, recumbent pose right now)

TwoSpecialWires said...

Wow. That was an essay! I miss you!

Muwah!
Fergi

Mango said...

OMG! Those giant bug photos freaked momma out totally! Thank goodness Toffee was able to save the day. I hope none of them sneak into the luggage.

I can't believe you went swimming with stupid pee-wee. You do look mighty happy there all splashing around.

Slobbers,
Mango

P.S. I am starting to like that singing music, but when the drums played, stupid momma thought it was some dumb teenager parked out front with his car radio blasting. She even looked out the window and was all prepped to go out and give him a talkin to.

Jake of Florida said...

They don't look like any prawns we've ever eaten -- or anticipate eating again!!!

Have you tried the South African wine? It is delicious and we recommend it before you leave. Or possibly buy when you get back to Urbanville.

Wirey love -- and a few extra EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWs from Mom

Jake and Just Harry

Alasandra said...

Thanks for taking time to come to the party. We loved having you. Africa seems like a lot of fun. ~S,S,C & F

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Wow what an adventure-I gotta admit, that BUG, ewwwwwwww. A Prawn, eh? Thought that was a shrimpy kind of food....
Did you see how handsome Stanny baby was in his Raiders of the Lost Ark outfit???sigh. Harrison Ford, eat your heart out.
You look mahvelous and are wise to use all that netting!!
Have fun!!
Hugs
Sunny
pee ess ok anok nicerest bafin soot asta! vvaaavaaavoommm! ok anok godda go
muuahh scooter

Rosie said...

Asta, What is a lady like you doing in a god forsaken place like that with all those creepy crawly bugs and eating them for dinner - I think the heat has gone to your head. Sit down, have a cocktail and think this over. We can send the plane headed back for NYC whenever you are ready!!
Rosie Marie

Gus said...

Wellllll...Muzzer almost didn't read the rest of the postie because she was afraid you and Lacie got bitten by that thing! We went to the bottom and peeked, and then we were glad you are OK and that Toffee saved you and Lacie.

Sheesh

that is way bigger than scorpions in Azrizona

gussie

Hamish Westie said...

Hi Asta
As usual, I read your blog from a scientific perspective. Us scientists like to strip away the detail and get to the essence of the matter. I think your experiences in Africa illustrate an important point regarding the evolutionary development of the canine species. It strikes me that we may even be observing the process of speciation in action. You clearly belong to subspecies canis urbanistis New Yorkus, brilliantly adapted to a cosmopolitan lifestyle where knowledge of high fashion shops, the best restaurants etc, are key survival strategies. Your apparent difficulties coping with the different environment of Africa come then as no surprise...
Cheers! Hamish.

Martha Basset said...

Oh Asta, how you have made us laugh! The sight of you in your antibug outfit is hilarious.
We did think Honey was one of those sun louger hoggers you meet on holiday!
You all looked - well different!
We agree with Hamish - we think you are trying to take New York to Africa and why not!
We thought you could do a makeover on that giraffe - we just know you could make him look more chic!
What a laugh we are getting from your adventure!
love
Martha & Bailey xxxx

The OP Pack said...

Hi Asta, we would love time by the pool and that after pooltime party. We wouldn't even mind the animal tour, but that prawn bugger - yikes - that is one ugly thing. Hope that's the only one you run into.

Tail wags, the OP Pack

MAX said...

ASTA BABY...BABY!! Come to Daddy! So you think Im handsome now that I demolished, exterminated, eradicated, un-perpetuated, anhialated, extricated and fabricated that bug?
It was most definitely a PARKTOWN PRAWN!! I am soooo impressed with you investigative skills.
EISH, but you guys are Shriekers deluxe!! But I was fast, hey?!
Oh, and by the way...there is a special bit of action for you on MY (OOPS...MAX'S) BLOG for you and LACIE GIRL.
LUUUUUuuuurve...Always
Your TOFFEE
(I betta get outa here before the MAXDOG eradicates me)
luuurve ya lots!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Asta!

Please make the shriekin' stop!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khywa
PeeEssWoo: I do think we REALLY need to hit a winery to bring bakhk some AGJ fur our moms/mommi

chicamom85 said...

That bug thing would freak me out and I would have been on the next flight home. You are very brave to stay it out. What an adventure you are having.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

It looks like everyone had a great time...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

pughy said...

I ove todays post but not sure about that bug. I like chasing bugs but that is huge...

Looking forward to seeing lots of pictures..

Hugs GJ xx

Lorenza said...

Hi, Asta!
You all were dressed very stylish! Like in the old movies!
That is a big bug!
Glad you all are ok!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Oh my, that was so scary. I glad you were rescued from that horrible bug. Mommy and I hate bugs, so that was awful.
Sally Ann

Teddy said...

Woooaah, that was some BIG trip you guys took!! Wow, I'd be scared too to see a big bug like that. Lacie sure looked scared!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Joe Stains said...

I think that was the very first time I wasn't hungry in my entire life!! I am pretty sure Tanner is going to be having nightmares for months, that thing was so stinkin creepy!! We don't have anything like that in AZ except maybe scorpions but we have never had one of those at our house!!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello asta its dennis the vizsla dog hay yikes!!! that is sum kind of monster insekt all rite!!! it is almost and big and scarry as the prawns frum the faymus dokyoomentry distrikt 9 but at leest it duznt hav enny advansd teknolodjy!!! or duz it??? hmmmmmm ok bye

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Honestly, Asta...did ya hear? That Toffee put those Parkplace Prawns in our tent ON PURPOSE!!!!! Just to flirt, so he could save us....

What a dog....

I am very impressed....there's nuthin' like a dog who will resort to a little underhanded manipulation of events to FLIRT. Dunno why I feel this way....


BTW...you shoulda tried that prawn once it was cooked and dipped in garlic butter...

hahahahahahaaaa...just kidding...but that kid was an amazing poker player!!!!!

Love and kisses...Laciegirlie

Agatha and Archie said...

EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW oh crap he just fainted..gotta go..Love Aggie

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