Monday, September 12, 2011

Wesignation

Deewest fwiends, it is wif shame and sadness that I have to hand in my wesignation to Mayow Fwankie Fuwtew of Blogvilee as chief "agony aunt" and love advice givew

I cannot in good con shins say I know anything about dating and love wif what has twanspiwed
hewe is a bwief explanation:

as a young pup in Dogs wif Blogs, I fell head ovew paw in love wif Stanley of Goobewstan  he is tall and handsome and the Woolew of his own countwy and vewy sweet and pawswaysive


My love was wee-cipwocated, and when I got a chance to meet him, I knew twoo love..he gave me a hoomungoos wing, and I natoowally ass oomed we wewe going to be togethew aways,


but my sweet fwiends, life is not so simpull

Stanley got so busy wif wunning his countwy and taking cawe of his Giwl and his sissie , the cwown pwinsess Stella, that he couldn't spend any time wif me

I felt totally alone in the oonivewse

meantime, I had aways hawbowed secwet love fow Gus Daggew but eawly on, I didn't have a chance, cause he was so vewy much in love wif the bootiful miss Snickews..last yeaw, Gussie's love had to leave fow the wainbow bwidge and as we wewe bof vewy lonely, we decided to keep each othew company

one thing led to anothew and ouw fwiendship blossomed into love

sounds like a happy ending wight??????   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
all of a sudden Stanley told the wowld on that facebookie thing that he was in a welationship wif me


now, I have two wondewful tewwiewboyz who I'm huwting........I love them bof
will not, and can not decide,
and to make it even mowe complicated, thewe awe some othew sweetheawts who have been mowe than lovabull to me


My BFF Lacie has caught me out and wote the following lettew to me in my cap acity as love advice givew:


Dear Doggie Who Gives Advice to the Lovelorn,

     Hi!! This is Miss Lacie Teacakes from da Burgh. I wanted to tell er ask you about my BFF who is um well ENGAGED TO TWO DOGS AT ONCE!!! See this one dog..he's a Dale...gave her this hooge rock engagement ring and then he like dropped off the face of the Earth and now he's back and on FB and he thinks they are still engaged but meanwhile she's engaged to this Foxy Wire Gussie who WAIT A MINUTE...JUST ONE MINUTE...I JUST realized she never told me about that...like the whole proposal...it must have been at the PWOM er Prom and I actually don't even know who asked who...er um whom. (Lacie has been studying the grammar book given to her by Miss Enid, but that's a Wheelie and well it's too long a story...)
    So what do ya think she should do??? I mean I suppose she could channel her inner Audrey Hepburn (A Nun's Story) and go off to the Convent, but that would be a shame cuz then I would only be able to borrow her wimple and habit (um...is that like gum chewing?) and sensible shoes. Which is so like boring for me, the Lacie.
     Perhaps she could relieve both of them from their potential troth and let ME AT THOSE BOYZ.  Hmm...I don't see her doing that do you???
     Or she could marry both kids? Course only one would be legal...I mean how fun is that??? Frankly, it's better when both are illegal...
     Or she could just STOP worrying about it and enjoy the attention of two handsome boyz? And perhaps she might enjoy partaking of a large bowl of Schlag. I pretty much find that cures all problems. Not that too many boyz are EVER a problem for the Lacie...but I don't pretend to have your wisdom in these delicate matters.
      So Miss Advice Lovelorn Doggie um I mean Doggie Who ...sheesch..that's just too long a title...what do you think she should do????
                                                                                                                            Respectfully,
                                                                                                                            Miss Lacie Teacakes
  She enclosed this pictoowe of how I would look if I entewed the convent
...I don't think it soots me, do you???

so you see, I am not one to give any advice cause I have totally messed evewything up in my love life and potentially caused sadness to the sweetest boyz on eawf


so, I'm handing in my wesignation
wespectful smoochie kisses

39 comments:

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Mom says something about an earworm of 'how do woo solve a problem like Asteria - how do khatch a khloud and pin it down'

As fur 'miss laciekhakes' -

As if!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khywa

Tank said...

Asta, you need to think like a dog (not a human.) Dogs don't care how many "furiends" you have... the more the merrier. As far as your position in the "blogville cabinet"...... puhleeeese. Just be a dog like the rest of us and leave the politics to the squirrels.

Stella said...

If you wish to just have One Serious BoyFriend, and you love them both. . .just toss a coin! Tell them what you have done so the winner will be happy and the non-winner will be your pal(and feel he was done fairly!)

Just my thoughts, Asta, and best of luck to all three of you whatever you decide.

Kisses,
Stella

Berts Blog said...

Dear Asta, I don't see the problem here at all. What you need to do is break up with both of them.

Honest there are a ton of guys out there just a hopin you will give em a chance.

I know you are in love with obth of them but like Tank says, us dogs love everyone and we have lots and lots of friends.

that is why we don't get heartburn....

Bert

Koobuss said...

Gee, Kousin Asta, I don't know what to say. I've never had any problems like that.

I think Lacie is right. Stop worrying and enjoy yourself. Who knows? Someone else might come along that you like even better. : )

Love and Lots of Koobuss Kisses,
Koobie

Wyatt said...

Asta-

Why can't you have 2 boyfuriends? Our Mayor of Blogville, Frankie has 2 wives...BOL.
I don't think you need to run off to the convent just yet!

Wyatt

FURKIDSMOM said...

We think the more boyfriends you have, the easier it will be to give advice!

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

FURKIDSMOM said...

oops...Mom forgot to tell you that we got that nasty malware warning when we try to read your blog with Google Chrome. It says our pal Samantha and Clemmie's blog has a bad thing on it. We can't get in their blog either.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Rubie said...

Gosh - mum said it's like watching an episode of "the bold and the bootiful". I'm with Wyatt - if it's good enough for Frankie to have two wives - why can't you have two boyfriends????

Tail Wuggles, Wubie......er, I mean Rubie.

Cheyenne -Millie said...

I haves never had a boy friend! I haves been a loner most my life... except before when my mom caught me and I was being chased all over the yard ... up and down the tree and into the bushes by all the neighborhood males... But that was a zillion years ago. I hope you can enjoy being you Asta!

Bouncing Bertie said...

Oh Asta there is absolutely no reason at all why you should not have loads and loads of boyfriends and continue proferring you always enlightening advice. Enough already of this nunnery thing! (As others have said before me, you are a dog and these silly human ideas about just one partner do not apply).
And by the way, although I know that, as a mere male, my judgement on these things is suspect, I do think that the swimming costume suits you much better than that dreary old wimple. No wonder you had so many lads swarming around you in the pool. (Where was I, by the way?)
I am going to write to Mayor Frankie right away and demand that he rejects your resignation.
Toodle pip!
Bertie.

STELLA from Down Under said...

Oh Miss Asta, its no wonder you have so many gentlemen friends trying to win your favours. You are so beautiful and glamorous. Mum says I am too young to be thinking about boys. They sound very confusing. If you are confused, gosh what hope is there for the rest of us. I hope you work out your problems. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Mango said...

Miss Asta,
Beastie is not the one to take advice from. I don't see her getting any proposals at all. Obviously she is filled with envy and likely has her eye on both of your beaus to grab for herself. I suggest you accumulate boyfriends with great vigor. After all, no dog is perfect (ahem, well, almost) and thus you can move from one to the next as they get tiresome.

Slobbers,
mango

Gracie =^o.o^= said...

Two at once and a string of others! Wow, sister Asta. I think you should stay on and give advise! You are for certain the expert in the love department. Who better than you? And by the way you were right about the convent outfit. Stay away! Also, we don't need you messing things up with the priest's pets there.

Frankie Furter said...

Furst... I have no intention of accepting your resignation. Bertie KNEW I wouldn't.
Your wisdom and advice are way to valuable to us. NO WAY will I accept.
Now let me tell you... speaking from Pawsonal Experience... there is NOTHING wrong with being a threesome. When I discovered that I loved BOTH Ruby and Penny and that they BOTH loved ME.. it was the happiest day of my life (up to that Point). Of course Our Wedding Day.. was even Happier for me.
Girrrrrl you Keep your Cabinet Pawsition AND both of your very much lucky Fellas.
Now if THEY can't share you... I suggest they arrange a DUAL... Meet at Dawn.. Go through the foggy woodland, to the Ancient Oak Tree and Lift their Legs.
I say AGAIN... Resignation Rejected.

Fred said...

Yes! Go with both!!! Both!!! The nun's look doesn't suit you at all, pretty Asta. ;P

Amber DaWeenie said...

Well, mee was tinkin' (yup, mee does poo-sess a teenie weenie brain) da same ting dat Wyatt said furst. Our dear mayor has 2 wives...so what's good for da goose is good for da gander...what mee meant was what good for da mayor is good for da chief of wuv advice! Right???

Gus said...

Dear Miss Asta:

I think you make a lovely nun, but I DO NOT want you to go into a convent. (I do think that the vocation rate would go way up if you did that, because you would make it look like so much fun!)

But I would be most unhappy if you did that. I am OK with the Status Quo, Quid pro Quo, Quod erat Demonstrandum, etc.

Anyway, I am a better dancer than Stanley, Right?

Right!

Right!!!!!

kisses
gussie

Pandafur said...

Oh noes! Iz din't see too doggiez in yer fuchure! Wat haz happened heer? Iz pawsonawly thinks yew shud keeps bowth doggies an jush be happy.

Tessa the Maltese said...

Oh Asta I sure is happy that the honorable Mayor Franke did NOT accept your resignation!

You have twice as much experience with 2 boyfuriends! This is why you need to keep giving advise!

You go girl!

I say have 3 or 4 or 5 or more boyfuriends!

woos, Tessa

Sarge said...

Hey Asta!
Wow, in the great Furter tradition, I agree: KEEP 'EM BOTH!! You're a super-girl and I know you can handle this. :)
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

road-dog-tales said...

First - shed the habit. It's not your style. Second - Love is a many splintered thing, Asta. Third - It's better to give than to receive - especially advice on love. Just 'cause your love life might be in disarray at the moment doesn't mean you can't give much needed and valued advice to others. Shrinks do it all the time - for LOTS of money! Fourth - We know for a fact that Mayor Frankie will never accept your resignation. Fifth - all of Blogville wants you to remain in your post!

The Road Dogs

Maggie and Mitch said...

Sister Asta! It sorta does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

Dearest Friend, who better to give advice than someone who actually has life experiences? Who has felt the pain of being hurt and accidently hurting someone you care about? Who has had to make tough decisions and loving compromises? Don't stop giving advice...it is well thought our and genuine and from the heart...THAT is what makes you such a great advisor.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Dear Asta,

(Lacie clears her throat and tries to sound deeper...sorta like Frankie Furter...)

I am delighted to accept your RES IG NA SHUN from that Lovelorn Advice Column thingie...(seems to me I have two wives and maybe more on the way? Perhaps I should have written to Ann Landers?)

It's obvious that the stress has gotten to you and I think you should hit the Convent immediately. Oh, could you possibly drop off that new orange GRAD U ATED HEMMED ruffled dress concoction off at dear Lacie's house first? She is starting a Dry Cleaning Bizness and has most thoughtfully offered to clean and press each and every wrinkle um I mean ruffle...probably as she's lying on her bac...er um never mind. Oh...and shoes to match, please...lots of them...she will polish and refresh each one with new UM (fake maybe) LOU BA TAN soles....

It's been totally fabbers having you serve in this esteemed position. Have a nice rest at the nunnery.

I need to go and find a third wife...oh...do you have that PHIL AN THROP IK Lacie's cell number?

Very truly yours,

Mayor Franks & Beans Furter

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Dear Cousin Asta(We are both terriers),
I don't know what you should do. Mommy says your sistuation reminds her of a character of the Ann of Avonle collection. You are great wire fox woman, and you will know the right time to choose the right guy.
Sally Ann

Piappies World said...

Hey Asta!

We are sure Frankie has not accepted your resignation. We just one thing to say though, do what your hearts dictates. We wuv you in any way.

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai, Wai-Max & Forgie

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

Thank you for so kindly displaying our Puppy Up widget for the 2MillionDogs Walk to end cancer in humans and canines. Your support means a lot to us. May the Universe shine on you.

Roo said...

BOL Asta! Mom and I both fell out of our chairs laughing at you in the 'habit' Hahahahahaha! Oh my oh my tears in my eyes Hahahahhhahhaha!

K, now seriously, would it surprise you greatly to know that some of the best advice givers don't take their own advice? BOL! Yup, I think it's a prerequisite for the job ;)

You know Frankie's gonna rip your resignation to shreds right? BOL!

Oh my thanks for the many many laughs this morning :D

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Ailsa,Teesha, Burtie and there Humans said...

OHh Asta, take advice froms an old girl. tells them you will always be frends. thats ways your conswence is clear ands Is sure you haves lots of love to shaire betwen thems all, I means I just saying whys stop at two.

Tillie and Georgia said...

Asta, our Mom was reading this with us and suddenly started singing
"Double your pleasure,double your fun..."( she said it was a gum commercial,but seems to fit here)
We agree!!!!Twice the fun and you have more interested parties???
How do you do it?? You need to stay on so you can share your secrets and charms ;)
Purrs Tillie and Georgia

Oskar said...

Oh no, you are so good at giving others advice, though. I'm sorry you're in a mess of a situation.

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

TwoSpecialWires said...

Oh Asta. Life gets so complicated. We know one thing for sure: we're glad you are family, 'cause families are forever and families understand. (Mostly) Also ... we can't get worried about all the complications of romantic relationships, since we're bruvver and sissie. Right?

Now ... NinaGirl, on the other hand ... well ... we think we might be needing your expert advice. So please don't hang up your hat for too long.

Missing you.
Jake and Fergs

ArtemisiaFSS said...

Well we will just point out that

1. The Mayor of Blogville has TWO wives, so we thinks you can have TWO Fiances/Husbands.

2. You gave great advice to Fenris!

No need for you to resign.

Eric said...

Miss Enid here.Well I never. Shame on you Asta dear. Despite feel most wooozy after reading your post I swiftly arranged a most pleasant basement room for you in the convent and an intense year long course on moral matters.I will write to you further with all the detail and arrange to run the Agony Aunt column forthwith. A role to which I'm most suited.

Fondest, Miss Enid Wheelie on Wheels

Chloe and Cecil said...

Deaw Miss Asta,

Me is sooooooooo happy Mayow Fwankie did not accept you wesignation, youse a vewy good advice t .

Plwease don't bee a Nun, dump ( gentelwee) da two boyfuwiends and bee me giwlfwiend! I tink youse BeaYouteaFul!!!

Love,
Winston

Chloe and Cecil said...

Youse a good advice givew!

Katie, Sparky, Ruby, Sylvester, Scuby, Hootie, Zeek said...

OMD, now Kousin Asta, Mama says I'm still a bit too young to know much about romance. I do have my boyfwend Bertie, but we live so far away from each other. So we just settle for the pawties we get to attend together. Mama says you just need to eat some PEANUT BUTTER PANIC ICE CREAM immediately. You will feel much better, hehehehe!
Wirey Hugs, Purrz & Licks,
Katie, Sparky, Ruby, Sylvester, Scuby, Hootie & Zeek

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

I think it is an envialble situation that you find yourself in dear Asta! My Aire-fellow, Mischka, is in Germany, so it is the ultimate long distance relationship for me. You Go Girl!!
AireKisses,
BabyRD

SOOOooooo Miss Asta, does this mean you are more than available now?? I hope your hussy ways don't rub off on my gal Sally Ann!!! If so, care to add a Welshie to your stable of guys?! hahaha.
WelshieHugs,
HOotie