Sunday, August 21, 2011

ADVICES



I have been getting some lettews fwom sweet fwiends wif twepidations and questions about mattews of the heawt and specifically about theiw wowwies about the upcoming Pawm 

I thought I would shawe a few of them wif you, hoping that it will make all of you see that we all have feews about mattews of confidence when it comes to dating
, and I hope that it will make you bwave about jumping into that love pond

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

?? I am a mixed breed... do you think that I could dare to ask.. a Pure Bred Girrrrrrl???

Awe you kidding me???????evewyone knows that doggies fwom many diffewent bweeds mixed all up make chawming and gowgeous woofies..anyone would be lucky to go out wif you, so don't be shy , just ask wif a big smile

                                                           
?? I don't know HOW to DANCE. No boys will ask me to go.. I just know it. What am I gonna do???

Just tap youw paws sweetie, the moosic will take you along and I'm suwe you will be dancing in no time, plus , a little wiggle of youw bum bum will do just as well

                                                                      
?? Where will I even LOOK fur a Date???

The fuwstest place I would look is on the bloggies of couwse..maybe a sibling of one of youw pals? ow someone you wead about and wanted to get to know mowe? ow  sometimes, all it takes is one look and KA POW like a thundewbolt you just get hit by love a dappled fuw, a big smile, shiny long floof, bootiful come hithew eyes, the gloss of a bwindle haiw
any of those can gwab you by the tail befowe you know it..just follow youw nose

                                
Dear Miss Asta ~
Oh, I so much want to go to Bloggie Vill Pawn.  Miss Jazzi is hinting that she needs a date and I don't know what to do.  See I don't have my own bloggie, but I have hosted Flat George twice and have been on Rocky Creek Scotties and Scottish Terrier News as Harry Potter's look-a-like.  The Honorable Mayor Frankie is my friend ~ please help me.

I know I look kind of like a nurd and I am an undergraduate, but I have potential.

Miss Asta with all your worldly knowledge and expertise in the LOVE department can you help me take Miss Jazz to the Bloggie Vill Pawn please.

My picture is attached.

Sweet William The Scot


 Dawling Sweet William 

I think you awe a most handsome lad
(I especially love youw glasses, they awe most becoming and show youw intellectooal side)
Youw Miss Jazz must be anxious fow you to ask hew to the Pawm
Sometimes giwls get shy and want the boyz to ask and tell them how much they would love to go wif them
I know that you wewe a gweat host to Flat Geowge  and the Wocky Cweek Scotties would only have nice fwiends, so you have  excellent wecomendations.
I have dwessed you and Miss Jazz up and taken a pictoowe just to show you how wondewful you two will look togethew
I'm absolutely pawsitive that if you take youw heawt in youw hands and offew it to hew, she will blush wif joy and accept gladly.



                                                  

Now this party, you know me and Stanize are an item ;)well I'm a bit shy I would love to go, but what if she dosen't can I still go, my heart is with her so I don't think I could dance with another girl.
Have a good week
See Yea George xxx

DAWLING GEOWGE,
Miss Stanzie loves you just as much as you hew, (I have it on good authowity) and I'm suwe if she can go she cewtainly will  BUT, if fow some weason she can't I'm pawsitive she would still want you to be wif fwiends and not stand in the cownew pining fow hew
I think she would want you to twiwl awound the dance floow and join in the fun..

                                               
Sagiwa asks:
Frankie sent me your way...see there is this BIG boy that I like...but I don't know if he likes me back. How do I get him to ask me on a date?

Dew Sagiwa,
I would go visit that Big Boy and whispew in his eaw(maybe nibble a bit) and tell him about youw hopes and dweams while looking ovew youw shouldew in a come hithew way
I'm suwe he'll get the message and won't be able to wesist you but if he doesn't, pawhaps he is not the one fow you

                                                
Now, as to this advice column. Would you give me some advice on how to maintain a long distance romance with the world's most popular pup? When my muzzer is not cooperating.

many kisses
Gussie

BLUSHBLUSH BLUSH, ummm, I so hope you'we talking about me(although it's pwes umptious of me to think so), you know that I wun awound to pawties, and dance wif anyone who asks, but my heawt is twoo thwoo good times and bad and I know all about non-co-opewating Mommis

                                                            
 Sally and PAddy: I think Paddy might write to you - he is quite shy and would like to date but would not know how to go about it.

Deew Sally, youw Bwuvvew Paddy is such a sweet boy and vewy desiwabull, I think he should just tell giwls he likes why he likes them and then if they weply, ask them in a most stwaighfowawd mannew...tell him nevew be afwaid , some giwl won't wespond, but that's not to be taken fow wejection..it oosually involves a neglectful secwetawy

Good luck sweet Paddy
                                                          
HEY ASTA!
WOW, I HAVE A HUGE QUESTION!

IF I WEAR A TUX, WILL I HAVE TOO MANY TAILS?!?!

Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

heheheheheh Sawge, sillly boy..
Tuxs don't have tails. tails do, and thewe awe vewy few occasions fowmal enuff fow tails So no need to woowy about having too many of them  IS that cleaw? hehehe

                                                                                 
I don't know what to do. I know Ciara already has a boyfriend so I do not know if I should ask her to the pawm? If  I don't ask Ciara I guesses I will go stag and look for a girl there. How would I find one who is unattached?  Also Artemisia insist that this is what I should wear, do you thinks I look OK in this monkey suit? And why am I wearing a monkey suit? And why does Socks call it a monkey suit when Artemisia insist it is a tux? ~Fenris
Fenwis
WOWZA!  You look most handsome
Some boyz hate to get dwessed nicely, that explains Sock's dewogatowy tewm(although I pawsonally have seen him dwessed to the nines at mowe than one gwand occasion when he was accompanying my sissie Momo, but I die gwess)
That is indeed a Tux, showt fow Tuxedo and a most pwopew attiwe fow a PAwm

Go wif you heawt Fenwis, and ask Ciawa..some giwls have mowe than one boyfwiend and that's OK, s long as you'we not mawwied thewe is no weason not to play the field
smoochie kisses,



                                                                                      



Dear Asta,

This is Lacie Teacakes. What does one do when one has tooooooo many boyz and soooooooooooo little time. I'm just sayin'....

Oh,,,,and can you fix the motor on my broom? Didn't know if your advice in womance of the heart extended to mechanical adventures...but my love life IS affected my my broom's performance or lack thereof.

Miss Teacakes...XXOO




Miss Lacieteacakes
You have gotten youwself quite a wepootation fow bweaking heawts..I would be a little mowe twoo bloo and stop pwomising the moon and concentwate on one boy at a time at least
and ummm, pawhaps it's time to upgwade youw mode of twanspawtation..not the best image to awwive on a bwoom...just sayin.....

                                                                                    

I am not going to the big labor day party because momma is too busy at the work place, but I hope you will help me nevertheless. You see, the Mango has so many lady admirerers for sure and I think sometimes there is just not enough Mango to go around. And then my dates always seem to go horribly wrong. How does this happen? I try so hard to be charming, but perhaps there is a problem with my approach? What do you suggest as a fool proof strategy for a successful date? Because, frankly, it discourages my large and loving the ladies self that none of my dates have ever come back for seconds. Well, except, of course, Beastie, who, honestly, frightens me.

Deewest Mango
A pawty just won't be a pawty wifout you!
As faw as those fickle ladies..I have seen videos of youw most wondewful dates.  you have always been tons of fun, and a weal gentledog , so I can only ass oome that those giwlies wewe eithew fwightened off by youw exoobewant baby Bwuvvew ow the Beaasty has bwivbed them to stay away.
It must be hawd to be as iwwesistabull as you, but don't wowwy, I don't think you'we old enuff to settle down anyway, so just play the field and have fun...thewe awe many woofs in the sea as they say

 PHOTO BY MANGO


That is all fow now deew fwiends
i hope i was able to help you a little wif my advises
now go out thewe and love youw heawts out
smoochie kisses


38 comments:

Pandafur said...

You gives rilly good avice Asta, you haz halped menny hearts tooday!

FURKIDSMOM said...

You're so wise!! We think you've helped a lot of your furriends with your pawsome advice.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Tessa the Maltese said...

I bow to your wiseness or wise one!

woos, Tessa

George the Lad said...

Oh Asta
What would we do withput you, thanks so much for your E vice it was most helpfull, see you at the Pawm
Does that mean I can have a dance with you ;)
Pucker up for a kiss
George xxx

George the Lad said...

lol!! it should read with out you, I think I need a sleep!!!

rottrover said...

Miss Asta, you are the sweetest, kindest and most thoughtful girl. And you give great advices!!

Your furiends,

-Gizmo, Bart and Ruby

♥ Sallie said...

Best advice EVER!

Hugs,

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

You are so good at this advice thing, Asta. We hope that Fenris knows that he can ask Ciara to be his date any time. We may not be around for much of the weekend's fun, but maybe Ciara can get away.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Frankie Furter said...

Dearest ASTA your advice to our Furends and Blogville neighbors.. is just SPOT ON. And I'm not talkin the living room rug here either.
I am sure that those who have asked for, and received you Wise Words.. will now be nappin well.
I hope that this gives the shyest of the shy.. the courage to submit their INNER WORRIES to you.
Your advice is SOLID GOLD girrrl.
What a TREASURE you ARE!!

Gus said...

Dear Miss Asta:

Sigh....thank you for being so kind. How about if I come and be a help with hauling instruments and stuff and then when you are not playing I can glower when you dance with other dogs? Not too much, just so they don't get any ideas, ya know?

xxxoooxxxoooxxxooo()()()
gussie

Bouncing Bertie said...

Asta, you are the world's best advice columnist! Really! The tips on how to dance are especially valuable as I certainly won't be looking to Gail for any guidance in that area...
Toodle pip!
Bertie,

Amber DaWeenie said...

You gives such good advice, Asta! Now me wishes dat me could find me one true wuv!

Maggie and Mitch said...

You are very smart, Asta. Lots of pups are going to be very happy with your advice!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

STELLA from Down Under said...

Oh Sweet Miss Asta, once again you have amazed me. I am keeping all these questions and answers for when I am a big girl and old enough to date. It all sounds sooo exciting. No worries, and love, Stella

ArtemisiaFSS said...

Thanks for the advice and explaining about the tux. Socks will be wearing one too. MoMo put her paw down about what he should wear, I actually think he likes dressing up but doesn't want to admit it. Scylla took Brian to find a tux and Arty went shopping with Prince Casper for a tux so all us guys are very dashing and debonair according to Arty. ~Fenris

Sarge said...

Hey Asta!
Wow, great advice! I bet lots of us doggies are woofin' a sigh of relief. Everyone just needs to muster up some courage and ask that special someone! Take the plunge!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Sagira said...

Thanks so much for the advice. :)

Finn said...

Oh MIss Asta, you are the smartest! That's some good advice!

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Hi Asta,

Tell your Mom not to feel bad about nstopping by. Mommym Mo9mmy can'[t hardly keep up with out blogt.

Glad you stopped in though. Mommy is working on a very special post about the Back to School Bash and everybody that's doing something
It gonna be posted tomorrow. so come on back LATE tomorrow.

{{{huggies}}}...Mona & Weenie

Maggie Mae said...

Miss Asta,

You are a natural at advice givin'! :)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Mr. Pip said...

My dear Asta, you are a natural in the love department. I think you may have helped several doggies find true love with these answers!

Your pal, Pip

P.S.: I could absolutely never forget you!

Oskar said...

You are so brilliant at matters of the heart & the Photoshopping skills you did specially for us are awesome!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Minna Krebs said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaa

Miss Asta.....this is just brilliant!! Thank you fur sharing your advice. Me and my momma both LOVE it!!

MAXMOM IN SOUTH AFRICA said...

Dear sweet Asta...
You make and excellent 'Asta agony aunty'...AAA, for sure!
Sending lotsaluv
MAXMOM IN SA

Mango said...

Miss Asta,
Thank you for your great advice. You are so right. That Beastie seems to always get into mischief on MY dates. Maybe she is too busy fixing her broom to bother me for now. Plenty Mango to go around.

Slobbers,
Mango

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sweet William The Scot said...

Dear Miss Asta ~ You definitely are the most wise one in matters of the heart. I took your advice and asked Miss Jazz to the pawm and she said yes. You are also a fashionista, we look so marvelous the way you dressed us. I am going to keep our picture the way you made it under my pillow. This is my first adventure into romance and you gave me courage.
Sweet William The Scot

PeeS ~ I read you bloggie all the way back to peeps of parade and it is fabulous!

Wyatt said...

Asta-

Such good advice you are giving!
So many doggies with so many worries.
Stanzie needs to get in touch with George!!

Wyatt

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh Asta...what fantabulous advice!! Except for mine of course....I adore my BROOM and I adore BOYZ...cannot possibly give either up....

I am delighted that you got dear Sweet William set up with Miss Jazzi!! What an adorable couple!! So color coded!!! (That blue against that black fur...wowzaaaaaa!!!)

And that silly Mango...not enuff of him to go around...and he's skeered of me? Harumph...he should be.

Kisses, dear girlie!!

Love, Lacie Teacakes...

Oh...that pic you put up of me? Why did you stretch it sideways on photoshop??? Wouldn't fit the other way? It looks sorta W I D E.

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

You give so much to your friends and to the community, dear friend! Thanks for just being you.

Sally said...

Great advice, Asta.

Nice woooh
Sally

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

Wow Asta, you are amazing!
We cannot believe you are so clever!
We hope that all your advice is followed and there are no broken hearts.

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

euthymic said...

You render exquisite advice to this annual once in a four year occasion called the pawm.

Woofs to such wisdom:)

Mocha Barney, Ashley Pumpernickel and Winniechurchill

Kippy Marrie said...

ASTA...
Voce é linda. Amei voce e seu blog.
Estou te SEGUINDO e sendo sua amiga.
Ficarei muito feliz se viesse conhecer meu blog e ser minha amiga também (SEGUIDORA).
Amo ter amigos em todo o mundo.
TE ESPERO COM MUITA ALEGRIA.
Aus 1000 com amor...

KIPPY

Momo and Pinot said...

Asta, you're truly amazing!! A very very good advice!!

Happy Tuesday!
Momo & Pinot xoxo

KEY WEST COLLIES said...

Bowsers, we heard about the earthquake in D.C. and how they evacuated buildings in NYC. Hope you are okay.

Essex & Sherman

Bobby said...

Asta we are away so are just catching up.
We love your advice post I am sure you have helped a lot of furbodys.
Keep up the good work.
Licks Bobby

Bocci said...

Asta, you are a natural for an advice column, especially on dating, but please think about expanding into other areas-this could be big! And your name even starts with an "A" like Ann and Abby!